Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Love That Most Definitely Does NOT Work

The following excerpt is the disturbing reality of activists' desires for society as a whole to embrace "alternative" lifestyles as good and wholesome and acceptable.  I find the statement located in the parenthesis of the third bullet to be most exceptionally pertinent to the Prop 8 conversation and debate.

"Literally tens of millions of responsible, well-adjusted people are seeking out and living new ways of relating that don't embrace the traditional model of 'one man, one woman, sexually/emotionally exclusive, legally bound for life.' 

Recognizing the demonstrated perils of legal marriage at a young age, people are postponing marriage, or (as has been the case in Scandinavia for decades) forgoing it altogether in favor of cohabitation in record numbers.  
Millions of senior citizens choose not to marry legally for a host of valid financial, tax, and emotional reasons.
Millions of same-sex unions, both sexually-exclusive and non-exclusive, exist and thrive - yet participants generally cannot (and many say they would not) legally marry.
Millions of couples (primarily) enjoy the swinging lifestyle, where sexual openness is paired with emotional exclusivity successfully to deepen and enhance the coupled relationship.
There is a rapidly emerging polyamory movement that practices multiple, simultaneous, open and honest romantic relationships, including varying degrees of sexual intimacy.
Elements of the BDSM/power exchange relationship style are being accepted by, and assimilated into, society at an increasing pace, despite widespread misunderstanding.
Religiously-motivated polygamy has gradually re-emerged from the shadows and, when practiced responsibly and consensually among adults, is being objectively judged by many as deserving a measure of tolerance out of respect for religious diversity.

All of these choices, when practiced consensually and freely among adults, deserve respect and social support.  They also need the kind of empirical research to discover and promulgate 'best practices' that the old monogamous marriage model has enjoyed for decades.  Finally, there needs to be empirical research to help demolish unfounded stereotypes and prejudices that work to inhibit complete freedom of relationship choice.  We seek to support the attainment of all three objectives.

We honor and respect those who freely choose monogamous traditional marriage.  It is unquestionably a valid choice for many.  Nevertheless, we equally and firmly believe it is time to lay aside prejudice, inflexibility, ignorance and the insistence that humanity in all its wondrous diversity must adhere to a single acceptable model of intimate relationships, or do without."

Excerpt can be found on the home page of lovethatworks (dot) org.

Cohabitation, homosexuality, swinging, polyamory, BDSM (Bondage and discipline, Dominance and submission, Sadism, and Masochism), and polygamy!  Wondrous diversity?  Acceptable?  Deserve social support?  Unreal!  I am flabbergasted.  These are not "misunderstood" relationships.  In fact, research shows that they are socially devastating lifestyle choices.  And, of course, if you are one of the quiet majority that chooses to uphold and defend traditional marriage for society, if you choose to protect the innocence of children and secure a mother and a father for the wee ones, if you believe that monogamous traditional marriage is divinely appointed by God, then you are obviously, what was it (?), oh yes, "prejudiced, inflexible, ignorant, and dogmatic."  No matter that research shows that traditional marriage is best (and required) for the continuation of society and for the good mental and emotional health of children.  No matter that marriage between one man and one woman has worked for thousands of years.  No matter that the success of government and greater society depends wholly upon the success of the traditional family unit.  In this case, the embracing of "humanity in all its wondrous diversity" would suggest that we toss aside reason and govern ourselves, our communities, and our society based purely on emotion and passion.  This is foolish folly.  We have a Super Ego for a reason.  We need reason to temper our passions.  We need to be checked and reigned in.  

Between the Id, Ego, and Super Ego exists the same system of checks and balances that exists (or used to exist) in our government between the legislative, executive, and judicial branches.  In the case of Proposition 8, the Id (gay rights activists fueled by activist judges) jumped off the deep end, demanding same-sex marriage so that the homosexual lifestyle could be sanctioned by the government, receive a stamp of approval, and roll forward in its agenda for total surrender and acceptance.  And where the Super Ego (gay bashers and homophobes) would have called for absolutely no gay union rights, the Ego (52% of Californians) jumped in with a reasonable compromise to make both sides happy (you get all the same rights under the title domestic partnerships while we retain the sacred word "marriage").  Or so the formula usually goes.  In this case, the Id decided to take a turn for the teenage worse and set off on a Herculean rampage against the Ego.  Now, the Super Ego is sitting back laughing at the petulant Id as it destroys its own case for same-sex marriage.

Are you a member of the voice of reason?  The Ego?  What are you doing today to further defend traditional marriage.  This fight is far from over.  In fact, it's just beginning.  So, grab a laptop, a mug of root beer, and a favorite snack then sit down and start saving marriage.  The real marriage.  The marriage that we know by experience works.  Blog, comment, Facebook, Twitter, My Space, whatever you decide to do, just get out there and do something!  Marriage needs us.  And the Internet, which is largely controlled by that stampeding, raging Id, needs more voices of reason.


ruby said...

this is an awesome post. our society is totally obsessed with feelings. feelings are very useful for many things, but they don't ever equal logic and reason.

Heather said...

Wow! What an amazing post. I love it. I just finished reading an article titled "The Left Owns the Internet." Unlike talk radio where there is only a set number of bandwiths to use, the internet is unlimited, so we all need to continue our grassroots effort online.